Tabloid News: Aliens Abducted Billy Mays – But Wait! There’s More!

Karl Malden’s Penis is Missing – vengeful visitor snitched the wang during wake. Part described as “remarkably resembling his nose

Micheal Jackson’s Face Appears on Tortilla Made in Mendocino – Chiconahui found more than tortillas in her skillet Friday night

Golden Oldies Series” “Scotty, beam us aboard”. “Aye, sir. Will a 2×4 do?”

44-year-old male caught shop lifting in supermarket. Police pull large piece of meat from his pants. No not that meat. The other red meat. http://is.gd/1kd2e

Kathy Griffin makes appeal on twitter — Can someone please start a rumor that I am dead? I don’t want to do it myself.

Golden Oldies Series: When blondes have more fun do they know it?