WikiLeaks announces its Swedish servers are run by Lisbeth Salandar*. Pentagon Cyber-warfare team cancels planned attacks. Smart guys.

* for those of you living on a desert island without adequate beach reading materials, Lisbeth Salander is the Girl With the Dragon Tatoo.

The Hispanic Domestic Union angry that Russian Spies are called “illegals”.  Says proper term is “undocumented espionage workers”.

BP explains “small people” remark – “he was talking about the endangered Cajun Leprechauns of Southern Louisiana”, says Eric Beigleighinn

Joran van der Sloot tells Peruvian Authorities he also knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, who shot Tupac Shakur and next week’s Fantasy 5 number.

Micheal Jackson and Elephant Man join for the “Snuffed and Stuffed” Tour. Mummified remains exhibit to go around the world.

Batboy – I was Ed McMahon’s Love Child — Bat Boy finally reveals the secret of his origins. For picture go to http://snipr.com/lsgdj

Tabloid News: Aliens Abducted Billy Mays – But Wait! There’s More!